Writing+Task+Two+Corrections

**Putri** - very accurate and some good use of adjectives, well done. The words in  RED  are past simple  problems, could be spelling or was/were.. check and correct these. The green words are small preposition problems . My comments in blue are where you could (should!) describe things more. You can cut or copy your paragraph to Word on your computer or edit it directly on this page.

In  On  my last vacation ,I went to Singapore. I went there with my family, including my father, my mother and my brother. I stayed there for five days. At  On  the first day when we arrived, we just had a rest because we were so tired and it was already in the <span style="font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%;"> midnight. <span style="font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%; text-decoration: line-through;">At <span style="color: #008000; font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%;">the <span style="font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%;"> next day, we went to Universal Studio, it was a fantastic place. We can play <span style="font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%; text-decoration: line-through;">much <span style="color: #008000; font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%;">many <span style="font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%;"> games there, I was so excited. I saw some people who **<span style="color: #ff0000; font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%;">wear **<span style="font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%;"> Mickey mouse and Minnie mouse costumes, so I took some pictures with them. I **<span style="color: #ff0000; font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%;">spook ** <span style="color: #ff0000; font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%;">(spook = hantu!) <span style="font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%;"> English but sometimes I **<span style="color: #ff0000; font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%;">spook **<span style="font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%;"> bahasa too, because some people can speak Malay, it **<span style="color: #ff0000; font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%;">was **<span style="font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%;"> a similar language with bahasa. I met a funny guy there, he was a Chinese boy I didn't understand what he said. But he was friendly. After I played in Universal studio, we went to Mustafa for shopping, I love shopping. We bought <span style="font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%; text-decoration: line-through;">much <span style="color: #008000; font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%;">many <span style="font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%;"> things, like clothes, accessories and some gifts. <span style="color: #0000ff; font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%;">(can you describe something you bought?) <span style="font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%;">I **<span style="color: #ff0000; font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%;">+to be **<span style="font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%;"> surprised Singapore was a very clean city, there **<span style="color: #ff0000; font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%;">were **<span style="font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%;"> no rubbish on the street. The people **<span style="color: #ff0000; font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%;">was **<span style="font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%;"> very disciplined and the government was explicit too. Indonesia must imitate Singapore. <span style="color: #0000ff; font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%;">(yes!) <span style="font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%; text-decoration: line-through;">At <span style="font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%;"> On the third day, we visited my father's friend in Singapore, his name is Rasif. He was friendly and so nice. We ate dinner at his house. <span style="color: #0000ff; font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%;">(can you describe the house or the food some more?) <span style="font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%;">Singapore was a interesting place, we enjoyed it there.

PUTRI SARASWATI

<span style="font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%;">My last holiday was on December 2010, I had a lots of story on my holiday. I spent my holiday at Jakarta, I stayed there for five days, I met with my lovely big family and with my noisy old friends there, Actually I don't like the city, Because a bad traffic jam everywhere, I spent much time on the way, why I choose that city as my holiday destination because I love shopping very much and I can find all kinds of fashion brand in Jakarta, I and my friends spent our day walked around at department store and window shopping and it's made us happy even I didn't buy something. I also went with my big family for taste some delicious food because they like kuliner than shopping, We love seafood like crab, prawns and any kinds of fish So, We went to Nelayan restaurant, As they offered all kinds of seafood. I love this place, Nice foods good atmosphere and We were enjoyed it. I want to visit some beautiful place and see sunset, So my last day I went to Ancol beach and waiting for sunset, I went to this place with my best friend and we talked about everything, Like boys Love Life and jobs. what a beautiful sunset! I didn't see it before I must visited to this place another time. Even I spent a lots of money and time but I was happy with my holiday and I felt so fresh and had a good condition, and I was ready to back to my activity and doing my job as well.

<span style="font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%;">NINA